Over the past three weeks, I have had several friends, family members, and supporters ask me if I am planning to return to the Region, a return to a sort of semi-public life as an advocate for my community, for St. Catharines, for the 2SLGBTQQIA community, for the unhoused, the list is lengthy, and my unequivocal answer is no; I can’t.

From the sidelines, as a casual observer of local municipal politics, I’ve seen a formidable wall erected around the Region and a gratuitous and malevolent power extended to a select few ‘privileged gatekeepers,’ a move deliberately designed to restrict access to folks like me.

Because I am a ‘fierce advocate,’ another word for passionate, I suppose, and; an unapologetic, sometimes curt, flawed human; and because I refuse to engage in ‘pragmatic politics,’ these gatekeepers have and will continue to shutter their minds to advocates such as myself and policy they haven’t themselves dreamt up.

The advisory committees established by the Region latterly have been neutered, and more grimly, countless advocates are being told to “stay in their lanes,” or more precisely, [to] stay in the lanes “they,” meaning the gatekeepers, want us in.

I never minded being the ‘first through the breach.’ I never minded getting a little bloody if I thought it all meant something, but with each passing day, I’m wondering more and more what each bruise or scar means. I like to think that I have deployed every tool in my modest toolbox to get the Region and its democratically elected Council to take the objective, urgent, and genuine concerns of the trans community, among others, thoughtfully. I genuinely believe that I have failed, and many of these regional councillors remain closed off to the message I have been undertaking through the DEIAC and my appeals before Council (and various committees).

In my last appearance before the Corporate Services Committee, I correctly pointed out that this Region is primarily governed by a “privileged class.” I was correct in that assessment. I was equally right in stating that this doesn’t mean that someone from Council can’t or won’t be a passionate advocate for various marginalized communities, but it is less likely.

It’s equally unlikely that in Niagara, someone from a poor or working-class family will be in a position in their work or profession where they can petition for large amounts of time off from their low-wage job to campaign or, should they win, to take off countless hours a week to attend all the functions and duties expected of a councillor. As a result, we end up with a council led by men, yes men, almost exclusively, from a particular stage in life, meaning almost always older and with a specific malleable schedule or career that allows for time off. This all begins to paint an alarming picture of a gender, age, and class homogeneity that results in Council membership, priorities, and decisions leading up to the continuing marginalization of communities and committees (and indifference or inaction by the Council based on input from the community).

The psychological bruises and scars I spoke of earlier, to be clear, come not from the ceaseless trolling I get from two or three Niagara-based goblins, all of which are easily ignored given a robust block feature on social media and with even greater ease when I quickly discredit what is said when weighing it against its source. Instead, this lingering pain that never really goes away arises from our policymaker’s and regional councillors’ apathy. The pain of knowing that all this effort to highlight the beset lived experiences of an individual speaking on behalf of a community falls on an unsympathetic someone and for that sound advice to go completely unheeded. For these uncaring, uninterested individuals to never want to learn; for them to believe that they already know the unknowable (because of their privilege); and to never be held to account for their inaction; those are the battle wounds from which I am sure I can never fully recover.

And all of this in the face of the many wins the regional advisory committees garnered during the last term of Council, some of which I played a minor role in. Despite the advisory committees’ setbacks and obstacles previous term, we got a lot done. The Region’s response: Do less with less. Their plan, consciously or unconsciously, is to key us up for failure.

If I am going to get walloped by being the first through the door, I need to know there is a reason. I need to know that someone is recognizing my pain, our shared pain, or the pain of those I am advocating for – and why I am doing it. Sadly, that’s not the Region or its Council.

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