These are some articles I’ve written about my journey to become Sabrina over the years. It’s my hope that my challenging journey, with its ups and downs, can guide fellow trans individuals on their own journeys.
Expressing oneself through a journal can be incredibly helpful for several reasons. Writing these journals was genuinely beneficial over the years, particularly at the beginning of my transition. Ostensibly, I started writing these as a nearly objective record of my early transformation, but in the end, it became something more.
Live Authentically. Live your truth!
PART 3 – NO PERMISSION NEEDED: What Was Once Shame Has Become Pride
What began as innocent play, the joy of dressing up and pretending, soon curdled into confusion and punishment. My parents’ gentle corrections hardened into anger, their voices faltering with something more akin to unrelenting impatience. My pleas — small, wordless, desperate — were dismissed as misbehaviour. How could I have explained, at four or five…
PART 2 – SHAPE OF BECOMING: Grief, Legacy, and Inheriting Her Echo
Grief is a complex journey, shaping identity through loss and memory. Sabrina reflects on her relationship with her mother, navigating absence, longing, and legacy. While struggling to inherit her traits, they ultimately find strength and validation in her mother’s enduring voice, guiding them towards self-acceptance and growth.
WHEN CARE IS “SILLY” AND “DANGEROUS”: How Ontario’s Transgender Health Care Crisis Isn’t a Mystery—It’s Neglect
Sabrina recounts her challenging experience seeking transgender healthcare, highlighting systemic inequalities in Ontario. Despite clear medical guidelines, her family doctor dismissed valid requests for treatment. A significant percentage of trans individuals face unmet healthcare needs, necessitating urgent changes, including training for providers and increased funding for care.
PART 1 – UNFOLDING: A Trans Woman’s Search for Self and Sanctuary
In Canada, before I left, I moved through the world like a ghost—trapped in the wrong name, the wrong body, the wrong silence. In Korea, in this unexpected corner of Asia where cities shed memory as quickly as the seasons change, I found a stillness that held me. Through my camera lens, through hours of…
THEY DEMANDED MY DEADNAME: Why I’m Taking the Niagara Regional Police Service to the Human Rights Tribunal
While filming a documentary in public, I was detained and pressured by Niagara Police to disclose my deadname—a name that no longer belongs to me. It was degrading, unlawful, and discriminatory. I’m fighting back through the Human Rights Tribunal to demand justice and dignity for all trans people.
STILL ME AND OTHER PRIVATE THOUGHTS: Finding Motivation, Living Authentically, and Letting Go of Regrets
I can vividly recall the moment when I first started to grapple with my gender identity, a realization that exposed the stark contrast between how I saw myself and how others perceived me. From a young age, I instinctively understood the need to mould myself into the version others desired, striving to keep the peace…
NAVIGATING THE JOURNEY OF TRANSITIONING: Embracing Change, Challenges, and Growth
I was the oldest, the firstborn on one side of my family, long ahead of the gaggle of distant cousins that would come years later. This made me the centrepiece, a doughy bounty for overly doting grandparents and grateful, neophyte parents. “Here’s my baby boy!” my Nana would colourfully cry out, hued with a faint…
FINDING BRAVERY THROUGH TRAUMA: A Trans Journey
It’s strange how the slightest paths converging, literally for seconds, can leave a lasting mark on who we are, what we do, how we might see ourselves, or how we envision others seeing us.
(10 YEARS LATER) Learning to Ask for Help and Finding Friends with Latex Gloves
And these early changes—years later I recognize them as slight—felt monumental in the moment. They were proof that everything leading up to this—the appointments, the bureaucracy, the needles, the anxiety—was beginning to pay dividends.
FRACTURED UNDER THE WEIGHT OF ONE TRUTH: Fragments of Forgiveness
Transition is hardest in the beginning: those first weeks and months when everything is tender and terrifying, when reassurance is oxygen and support is salvation. And yet that is often when it is least available.
(10 Years Later) THE SHAPE OF ME: In the Days Before I Recognized Her
Before I began hormones, there was another version of me: a half-formed creature with one foot hovering above the water, always testing but never brave enough to submerge. I have felt inadequate for as long as I can remember—like someone dipping a tentative toe into a pool whose depth threatened to swallow me whole. Despite…
(10 Years Later) WHERE THE CITY SOFTENS: The First Week of Becoming Her
Sitting atop the highest hill in my district, near the top of the building, I could see so much of Ansan spread out beneath me. And in the early days of HRT, when the cool, damp air from the West Sea met the warm currents rolling down from the Gyeonggi mountains, a gentle fog would…
(10 YEARS LATER) THE QUIET BEFORE BECOMING: My First Steps in Transition
In May, I had completed the required psychological evaluation affirming that I was mentally sound and fit for hormone therapy. And yet, despite having the permission I had once ached for, I froze. Anxiety built a quiet cage around me. One afternoon, while procrastinating at work, I watched videos of another woman celebrating her transition…
Through this journal and many of these posts, I found some positive benefits from the cathartic exercise of inner self-reflection. I found these entries allowed for Emotional Release, Self-Reflection, Stress Relief, Goal Setting and Tracking, and Problem-Solving.
Journaling is a powerful tool for self-discovery and emotional well-being, making it a valuable practice for many.
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DonateDonate monthlyDonate yearlyIf you’re beginning your transition, I encourage you to consider keeping a journal. This simple practice can be a powerful companion on your journey.
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to journal. Whether you write daily, weekly, or whenever you feel inspired, what matters is that you’re honouring your journey. You’re not alone—your story is essential, and sharing it through journaling can be a powerful way to embrace your true self.
Take it one day at a time, and happy journaling!
- I DIDN’T PLAN TO BECOME A TEACHER: The Students Who Made Me Stay
- JUSTICE ENDS WHERE POLICING BEGINS: The Shameful History of Policing The Gay and Trans Community in Canada
- RAISED BY PLACES UNSEEN: The Quiet Way Borneo Found Me
- ALONE AGAINST THE SYSTEM: Fighting Police Misconduct in Ontario Means Surviving It
- PART 3 – NO PERMISSION NEEDED: What Was Once Shame Has Become Pride
Sabrina Constance 